- Starring and directed by some people
- Fear Factor: Goes from creepy to just sickening in 3.5
- All of them, but mostly 7th and 9th circle
Starry Eyes tells the story of an ambitious, disgruntled wannabe actress who quits her demeaning day job and sells her soul and dignity to a sleazy, obviously ill-intentioned producer to star in a cheap horror movie called “The Silver Scream”. In other words, Starry Eyes tells the story of the lead actress in the movie Starry Eyes. The parallel becomes even more apparent when one reads the behind-the-scenes tidbits and learns that the actress Sarah actually went the full distance and stuffed her mouth full of real bugs for a scene, just as the movie character Sarah went all the way and stuffed her mouth full of… the producer in order to get the “part”. But let’s focus on the storytelling or lack thereof.
The Wolf Pact
- Starring Caity Lotz and a less intimidating War Boy
- Directed by Nicholas McCarthy (director of The Pact – the short film)
- Fear Factor: Stepping on a Lego brick
- 7th Circle, I guess
The Pact is a movie that brings me little pleasure to review, as it doesn’t do anything extremely right or extremely wrong. I did keep a running list of everything that bugged me about it, but after watching the abomination that is Starry Eyes, this just seems like a mediocre, merely passable haunted house movie. The first third is all about characters walking around a suburban house at night, stepping on out-of-place objects, and saying, “Sh*t!” The camera’s always positioned behind their heads, but the only times something scary shows up are when the shot cuts to another angle or rapidly pans to a shadowy figure with an accompanying BWWAAAA sound effect. If you’re easily scared by sudden, loud noises, this is not the horror film for you, or maybe it is. Even when something disturbing – a decapitated head lamp lurking in a corner of a room – is already quite visible in the frame, the editor chooses to throw a BWWAAHH in just because the protagonist turns around and sees it for the first time. Regardless of that obnoxious habit, it’s largely a Don’t Open That Door kind of movie and it follows the subgenre playbook very loyally, but it’s not offensively bad.